Trip Inside My Head

2011-03-11T15:33:00.005-06:00

Last night I got a call that my grandmother was having a stroke. My dad called me from the ambulance. After we finished praying (and I stopped weeping) Jon and I jumped up, packed our bags and headed to Franklin.

We got to the hospital right after she had been moved from the E.R. to the CCU. My dad told me that there is something they call a "Super Drug," which, if taken within 3 hours of a stroke, can highly ensure the patient's maximum individual recovery. Wowee took this drug almost exactly 2 hours after her stroke.

When I walked into the room to see her last night, tension in my heart was high. I had already cried so much within the 2 1/2 hours since the call, but I knew I couldn't cry in front of my grandmother. The left side of her face was a little droopy and she was moving her right arm around a lot. She had a large bruise on her right hand from where the emergency crew had quickly put an IV in it.

I laid my head on the side of her bed close to hers so she could speak to me. She asked me if Jonathan had come with me, he scooted closer into her eyesight and said hello. I looked at her and said, "I love you, we love you." She said back, "A bushel and a peck" and closed her eyes for a few minutes. At that my heart lost all tension-she wasn't gone.

Lesson #1: Do not grieve for those who are still with us.

Later, I went out into the hallway a few minutes where Jon was on the phone with his mom, filling her in. After he got off the phone I cried, yet again. These were tears of thankfulness and sadness for her that she was in pain. Wowee always said she prayed she would never have a stroke. Seeing her this way was unsettling and sad, but it reminded me of our frail bodies and how we are not even in control of what happens to ourselves.

We stayed with her until a little after midnight, then we left so she could try to sleep.

This morning I picked up my sister from the airport and then we headed back to the hospital. Here are some of my favorite quotes from today:
"Your daddy keeps telling everyone I had a stroke. It's his fault I'm here."

"If you ever hear of anyone having a stroke, tell them not to come to this hospital; they do too many things to you."

Me: "Wowee, I thought I told you to stay out of trouble."
Wowee: "I really did try..."

"After this, I'm never coming back to a hospital again. They make me so uncomfortable."

Speech Therapist: "Can you tell me your name?"
Wowee: "Naomi Helen Morel Kiern...(raises chin proudly)MRS Theodore William Kiern!"

:)

As you can see, she's talking. She's able to recognize people and ask them about their lives.

There are some sad quotes from today, but I'm not going to blog them. There are some times when she would get really confused, thinking she was home or in her power chair. Then we would remind her she was in the hospital and she would look away.

Tomorrow she is having another CT scan (of her brain) to see what it looks like now. Apparently it takes about 48 hours to see the full affect of a stroke on a persons brain. We will see tomorrow the magnitude of what this will mean for my grandmother and I have to be honest...I'm really scared.

My sister and I left the hospital today at 6 and now I'm back at my parents house, waiting for tomorrow. Thank you for those who are praying for her and us. Everyone who has told me they are, I've told her and she thanks you too. The Lord is sovereign and Christ is King.

2011-02-23T15:56:00.002-06:00

Mary texted me today and said that the Dove's are on the 20th, not Easter sunday, the 24th. I was confused with the air date, which is on the 24th. Since my brother in law is getting married 3 days later, I'm not sure if I can go yet. :/ Just wanted to clear that up from my last post.

2011-02-21T15:51:00.008-06:00

I'm excited about April 24th (Easter) this year. Youwannaknowwhy??? My dear friend, Mary Smith got me a ticket to the Dove Awards! Whoop whoop. I've never been before but I've had a lot of friends tell me it's a blast. Mary has an internship at J103, a Christian radio station here in Chattanooga, and I'll be going down with them. I'm not sure if I'll just be going or if I'm working or anything, but either way it will be really fun.

Last Friday night was CRU's formal and let me tell you-it was hoppin'. There was a fantastic turn out. Our mini prom was held at the Sheraton downtown making it for a very formal affair. Last week I went to Francesca's Collections with a gift card and high hopes to find a formal, appropriate for a married woman, dress...and I did! I was so happy when Jon smiled and said we could get it. It was really the first item of clothing I've bought with our own money since our wedding, and since Jon started his new job last week, he felt alright about me getting it. It was really special.

So between the goofy dancing, glow sticks and close friends, I would say Formal was a success. I'm so excited about going to Destin for Spring Break with CRU for the last time this year. It's going to be pretty bittersweet, but mainly just a lot of fun! Here's a video from CRU's first Spring Break, when things were A LOT different and we only had 2 houses-the girls and the boys homes. That trip was a little crazy, but made for some pretty funny memories!

The video is an example of how we still had a lot of growing to do! :) I would not stand by and let this happen to one of my best friends today, but this video is still really funny! Enjoy...

2011-02-18T09:38:00.006-06:00

I really miss being able to hear great music like I did growing up in Nashville. I didn't [fully] realize how fortunate I was at the time, being able to go to anywhere and hear something just beautiful.

I really like The Civil Wars. Their song Poison and Wine is inspiring people to evaluate what love is. It's probably freaking a lot of people out too. The video is beautiful, if you have 3 minutes to spare, I'd encourage you to take a look at it. It's very Nashville and it kills me!!

Anyways, I think this song really cuts to the core because it points out many popular relationship/marital complications that anyone can find themselves in. But then they hit us with "I don't have a choice, but I still choose you" and "I don't love you, but I always will."

"Poison & Wine is a musical snapshot about the dichotomy of love - that while it can be the thing that destroys you, it can also be the very same thing that beckons and builds you. JP and I are both married have been for several years now - and we got to talking one day about what a tug and pull our individual relationships can be. The longer you know someone - and the longer you allow someone to know you - the more the light and shadows inside each person become more vivid. This song was our attempt at being as brutally honest about the dangerous and beautiful process of knowing and being known." (-Joy Williams, The Civil Wars)

I do not, from this song, gather that these are supposed to be from the hearts of two Christ seeking individuals who are married-but they could be? Last night after CRU, Jon and I stayed late talking with our friend Mary and one of our staff members, Jason. Jason was saying he thinks one reason why the divorce rate among Christians is the same as non-believers is how many Christians don't want to come to grips that they married a sinner. I laughed and said, "I know what you mean. There was one day when I just thought to myself about Jon 'you're supposed to be my warrior, not a sinner!'" I want him to be perfect, knowing I never will be. That's wrong.

I am learning more and more about my own heart, and how scary it is apart from God. How reckless, irrational and without direction it is. I have to extend grace to my husband, otherwise one day I might end up having resentment toward him for not being perfect.

I'm coming to realize even more the burden and responsibility that the man has by being the Christ figure. The woman, who symbolizes the church, isn't expected to be the hero-ever. (That doesn't mean she can't be). The church is broken. Jesus Christ is perfection. Do you get what I'm saying?

So I would say there are three things that have made Jon and I continue to love each other and be as strong as ever:
1. Put God first and thank Him for the time we will have with each other. God could take Jon tomorrow-which would be hell-but I wouldn't die. Jon is not my first love (1 John 4:19), Jesus Christ is.
2. We have to be honest with each other. So whether that is pleasant or ugly, we rarely have to wonder what the other is thinking and never settle the matter. So if/when we argue, it's not about something else-it's about what is at hand and not something that happened last week.
3. Always say the good stuff you are thinking. I'm telling you, we have both laughed at each other about how cheesy we can be. It's so vulnerable though. Even though we are married, it's still scary to take a chance and open up your heart. We choose to do it anyways. If we are honest with each other, we can really understand each other too. For example, when Jon called and told me he got a job, I hung up the phone, leaped in the air and then started crying-because I knew that's how he was feeling.

Get it?

I'm not a relationship guru, but I do love my God, my husband and good music.

2011-02-15T11:40:00.002-06:00

Yesterday in my devotional, I read what the role of Jesus is, spoken by Christ himself only hours before he was to be arrested then crucified:

John 17: 24-26- "Father, I desire that they also, whom you have given me, may be with me where I am, to see my glory that you have given me because you loved me before the foundation of the world. O righteous Father, even though the world does not know you, I know you, and these know that you have sent me. I made known to them your name, and I will continue to make it known, that the love with which you have loved me may be in them, and I in them."

Jesus' role was to make the Father's name known and to allow humanity access to God through himself, by his sacrifice. He also loves us like the Father loves us.

Last night after Jon and I turned off the lights to go to sleep, I rolled over to him and asked him a question. It went something like this...
"Jon, you know what the Father's role and Jesus' role are, right?"
"Right..."
"What would you say is the Spirit's role? I mean, what exactly is it that the BIBLE says the Spirit does, specifically? I don't think I know enough about Him."

It was quiet for about 2.5 seconds. Then Jon said, "Turn your light back on. We're going to look at this."

So, Jon got his Bible out and turned it to the back...and WOW. Why oh why do we often treat the Spirit like He is the lesser of the three??? He is very hard to understand, but there is SO much that the Spirit does to fight for us!

Read this: Romans 8:26 "Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words." --Doesn't that sound like a Spirit that LOVES us?

I have believed the Spirit to be God's, a part of the Holy Trinity. But, I have also regretfully ignored the Spirit day after day, focusing only on the Father and the Son. I want to know more about who the Spirit is, how He glorifies God, how He works/moves, what He feels, what He thinks.

He gives gifts, He communicates to us for the Father and allows us to communicate with God, He is a warrior, He conceived Jesus, He speaks to us through convictions. Guys, He is big and He is busy. Here is a link that goes deeper into different characteristics of the Spirit and verses to back those ideas up.

I'm excited about learning more about the Spirit of God!

2011-02-03T07:17:00.002-06:00

The problem with Twining's English Breakfast tea is that I can never have just one cup.

This commercial cracks me up so much! And yet, I want this to be me?....

Anyways, this morning while drinking my tea I read an article at CNN.com about what the President was doing with his breakfast. At the annual National Prayer Breakfast, he will be giving a speech on his personal faith. The article stated that the White House was "shocked" to hear that 1 in 5 Americans believed Mr Obama to be a Muslim, when he is a "proclaimed" Christian. You can read the article here.

One of the most interesting parts in this article to me was when Rev. Hunter stated that this is the first time that a U.S. President has been challenged on his religious belief. In the past, people have believed what they have been told. This, of course, is more or less true. I remember hearing people say that they didn't really believe George W. Bush was actually a believer. There were many in the Catholic church who, because of his personal life, were upset with JKF when he was first in office that he represented them. The point is, I think one of two things is going on here...
1) This may be coming about because of the complete chaos in Egypt and Americans need to know they can trust their President. (aka, he's being told to do this)
or
2) (the option I want to be the case) President Obama has discovered what the American people believe to be true by his efforts to keep religion neutral. We have heard so many speeches given by him about how America is not a Christian nation (which is true) and that we are a nation of many religions, each that should be respected and embraced by others.

Whether or not this speech is going to really effect what the people think is hard to tell, but all I can say is that I really hope that my President is a Christian, and furthermore, I hope that this speech is the start of a spiritual revolution in this country. Mr President, if you are a follower of Christ, I hope after today you feel free to speak on what you believe, just as you promote and encourage your country to do.

On a very different note, check this out! It's almost exactly the view Jon and I had from our room while we were on our honeymoon.

Have a good Thursday!

2011-01-31T22:30:00.002-06:00

One lesson that seems to circulate in my life, and is never easier to learn, is how most friendships are only for a season. I think the reason why this is hard for me is because I refuse to treat people like they will only be around for a season, because I don't know if that's true for every person. So, that being said, I will invest my heart, time and spirit into friendships hoping that it will be of some value and maybe even better, that it will be honorable to Christ.

I know that's not a very uplifted paragraph, but I wanted to share into the abyss of the internet via blogging something I am learning once again. I am prayerfully getting past this burden with my husband and life long partner.

Maybe, this is one of the ways God keeps teaching me of his faithfulness. HIS faithfulness. Not the faithfulness of man, but of him. If that's what he needs to do, then I will choose to respond in joy.

"He is before all things, and in him all things hold together. And he is the head of the body, the church; he is the beginning and the firstborn from among the dead, so that in everything he might have the supremacy. For God was pleased to have all his fullness dwell in him, and through him to reconcile to himself all things, whether things on earth or things in heaven, by making peace through his blood, shed on the cross."-Colossians 1:17-20.

2011-01-24T22:00:00.006-06:00

"If I find in myself nothing in this world can satisfy, I can only conclude that I was not made for here...."-C.S. Lewis

That amazing woman is my grandmother, taken this past Christmas Day. She is reading her Bible, soaking it in.

Take a closer look...

Could it be possible that when if I ever reach her age, will I remember the things that burdened me in my youth? What about in my adulthood?

"Spirit now living and dwelling within me, keep my eyes fixed ever on Jesus' face, let not the things of this world ever sway me! I'll run 'til I finish the race."

Am I willing to die to myself everyday to love others? Am I willing to love you? That is the race, and the King is the prize. I want so badly to have a radical and wise spirit.

I want so badly to say something like this:
“And now, compelled by the Spirit, I am going to Jerusalem, not knowing what will happen to me there. I only know that in every city the Holy Spirit warns me that prison and hardships are facing me. However, I consider my life worth nothing to me; my only aim is to finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me—the task of testifying to the good news of God’s grace." Act 20:22-24

That's what Christmas is all about, Charlie Brown.

On another note, I want to do many things that all involve me going back to England. I want to go to the final Harry Potter film premiere in London. I stinking want to finally go to London. I want to meet Queen Elizabeth SOOO BAAAD!!

But mostly, I just want to go to the place that has my heart with the man who has it too....

That's all I have for now.

2010-05-06T11:19:00.006-05:00

On Tuesday night, Jon and I decided to make a countdown chain together. Since we are going to Disney World for our honeymoon, we wanted the paper to be Disney paper.

The finished product went on the wall in my bedroom. Everyday we tear off a chain!

Last night we hung out with Alex and Becca. I just got to know them this year through Jon, but they quickly became one of my favorite couples. It's always so fun to be with them.

Today we had another premarital counseling session. It was 2 hours full of intense, yet fun spiritual scripture reading and question answering. Jon and I both left feeling so great-knowing you're in God's will is one thing, but having a teacher and minister who you respect confirm that is an amazing feeling. I told Jon I could fist punch the air and he laughingly agreed.

2010-04-29T00:14:00.002-05:00

Sometimes, it's difficult to keep in mind the big picture. Sometimes, it's easy to forget what this is all for. Often, we have to bring ourselves back down to our knees before our King and remember why he brought us together in the first place: for His glory. To show the world and each other his love and faithfulness.

Hosea 2:14-20

"Therefore I am now going to allure her;
I will lead her into the desert
and speak tenderly to her.

There I will give her back her vineyards,
and will make the Valley of Achor a door of hope.
There she will sing as in the days of her youth,
as in the day she came up out of Egypt.

"In that day," declares the LORD,
"you will call me 'my husband';
you will no longer call me 'my master.'

I will remove the names of the Baals from her lips;
no longer will their names be invoked.

In that day I will make a covenant for them
with the beasts of the field and the birds of the air
and the creatures that move along the ground.
Bow and sword and battle
I will abolish from the land,
so that all may lie down in safety.

I will betroth you to me forever;
I will betroth you in righteousness and justice,
in love and compassion.

I will betroth you in faithfulness,
and you will acknowledge the LORD.

Psalm 19:1-6

The heavens declare the glory of God;
the skies proclaim the work of his hands.

Day after day they pour forth speech;
night after night they display knowledge.

There is no speech or language
where their voice is not heard.

Their voice goes out into all the earth,
their words to the ends of the world.
In the heavens he has pitched a tent for the sun,

which is like a bridegroom coming forth from his pavilion,
like a champion rejoicing to run his course.

It rises at one end of the heavens
and makes its circuit to the other;
nothing is hidden from its heat.

Revelation 21:1-4
The New Jerusalem
Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth, for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away, and there was no longer any sea.

I saw the Holy City, the new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride beautifully dressed for her husband.

And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, "Now the dwelling of God is with men, and he will live with them. They will be his people, and God himself will be with them and be their God.

He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away."

Isaiah 62:5

As a young man marries a maiden,
so will your sons marry you;
as a bridegroom rejoices over his bride,
so will your God rejoice over you.

100 Days!

2010-04-27T18:02:00.007-05:00

Lately...

1)I've been wanting to bake. I don't mean just brownies and cookies, but really cool creations. I want to make really fun cakes and cookies. The problem is I haven't had more than $20 in my bank account for over a month, so I haven't had any money to do anything really. Jon has been providing many meals for me, which has been a very humbling and occasionally embarrassing experience.

2)God has been trying to teach me a lot through my relationship with Jon. There have been many times when Jon will do something to serve me and I feel guilty for it. I'll try to express how thankful I am and he'll say "it's because I love you." I then say something like, "yeah I know, but.." Which often frustrates and hurts him. I feel like I need to do something to counteract his service, which is often how I feel about God and his grace. It's true and right that we respond to Christ and his sacrifice for us, but I feel like I have to stay on the path to righteousness in order to deserve it. Jon is helping me see my worth, that it's not about deserving love, but accepting it. It's been a very James 2:14-17 semester for me.

3)We went cake tasting yesterday at the Publix in Ooletwah, where Jon's family lives. It was a disaster. When we arrived for our 4 o'clock appointment, they had cupcakes cut in half with fillings in the middle in a plastic container waiting for us. The lady at the bakery handed them to Jon and said, "if you have any questions, give us a call and we'll set up an appointment." I was so confused and disappointed. We didn't let it get us down though. We ate lots of free cake!

4)Engagement Fever has been spreading like crazy. My friends Kate and Adam got engaged a few weeks ago and I was honored to take the pictures at the proposal!! He took her to the Walnut St Bridge here in Chattanooga. He told her he wrote her a song and wanted to play it for her. When he was getting the guitar out, he said he needed to find a pick and the ring was in the guitar case! Here are some of the shots:

Are they not such an attractive couple? Sheesh.

That's all for now!

2010-04-25T21:47:00.009-05:00

Hello Blogging World!
It's been a while...

I wanted to start writing again to keep up with friends this summer who will be all over the place. I also want to have a chance to update on all things wedding and take the time to reflect on what's going on in the process.

To begin with, I am engaged to the most wonderful man I've ever known, Jonathan Meeks.

I met him last March when I went to the beach for a few days with UTC's Campus Crusade, but I kind of forgot about him after that :/

...Then we met again at the very beginning of the Fall '09 semester, starting dating on October 8, got engaged on February 11, 2010, and will be married on August 7! On our honeymoon, we will celebrate knowing each other an entire year.

Jon proposing

I wish I could wrap up in this little blog the many things I've learned this year through and involving God, my life, relationships, my future, even my heart. It's amazing how much you grow in college and how each year it's a different type of growth. Freshman year is about becoming independent by making mistakes, triumphs and having a whole lotta fun. Sophomore year is about buckling down in school (or if you're me, finding yourself a little more and becoming very independent by moving to Orlando for a semester). Junior year has been a year of painful growth and realities about life, learning about love in every form of the word and being faced with your future whether you are ready or not... but you still get some time before being totally terrified because of graduation!

At this point, I'd like to keep you posted and invite you to celebrate with me and Jon this transition into a new family, new life and a lot of unexpected situations I'm sure we will encounter.

Yay summer, change, weddings, love and Christ our King!

2009-08-21T23:58:00.002-05:00

This website is one of the best travel sites I've ever seen. This page is really simple, but clever. Check it out, it really helps you get a feel of Italian cities that aren't normally focused on.

2009-07-31T23:57:00.002-05:00

Have you ever read something and become annoyed that you didn't write it first? That someone put words to your thoughts and you wish you could of done it as beautifully as them? That's how I felt after reading Mitch's latest blog entry.

That's how I felt after hearing Coldplay's "Yellow" the first time. I was in the 7th grade and I was obsessed with looking at the stars at night. I used to get lost in them and think about different beauties in life while searching them. Next thing I know, I'm hearing a song that says "It's true, look how they shine for you. Look how they shine..."

After reading through some of Robert Frost's poems this week, the same feeling hit me again. His poem "Nothing Gold Can Stay" was too powerful for me the first time I read it. I rejected it-refused to believe it. As a Disney-loving, southern Baptist raised, kitten hugging young girl, I remember thinking something along the lines of "Love is forever!" Ha! Take that Robert Frost! You forgot about LOVE!

But I read it again this week...

Nature's first green is gold,
Her hardest hue to hold.
Her early leaf's a flower;
But only so an hour.
Then leaf subsides to leaf.
So Eden sank to grief,
So dawn goes down to day.
Nothing gold can stay.

I've learned a lot this summer. Life has hit in different ways. Some really big, some that seem bigger than they. What I have brought away from it all is that this is all temporary. We all act bigger than we are. It's the same as dancing around a time bomb, pointing and laughing at it. We are mocking the fact that all of this isn't forever. Maybe you aren't, but I was. I didn't realize how short life is, and how I take life for granted.

But you know what's funny? Even now, after changing immensely since reading "Nothing Gold Can Stay," I still believe Frost was wrong. He wasn't far off though. Maybe he and I are both right. I do believe real love is forever. I think as a college student, as someone who is always changing (and is encouraged to), I need to remember that. The Supplier of Love stays timeless.

Think about that the next time anything bad, and good, happens in your life. Treasure the good, reflect on the bad, and move on. Live, don't just survive.

2009-06-10T16:26:00.004-05:00

(At 3:07..)
"As you probably know, Rolling Stone magazine just named your song 'Like A Rolling Stone' the #1 song of all time. 12 of your songs are in their list of the top 500. That must be good to have as part of your legacy.."
"Oh maybe this week, but you know, the lists, they change names and, you know, quiet frequently. Really I don't pay too much attention to that."
"But it's a pat on the back Bob!"
"This week it is. But you know, who's to say how long that's gonna last?"
"Well it's lasted a long time for you. I mean you're still out here doing these songs and you're still on tour."
"I do, but I don't take it for granted."
"Why do you still do it? Why are you still out here?"
"Well it goes back to that destiny thing. You know, I took a bargain with it, you know, a long time ago and I'm holding up my end."
"What was your bargain?"
"To get where I am now."
"So may I ask who you made the bargain with?"
"(Laughing-first time he smiles the whole interview) You know with the Chief, Chief Commander!"
"On this earth?"
"On this earth and in a world we can't see."

2009-04-06T21:16:00.004-05:00

Have you ever done something and you it immediately put a damper on your day? I had an experience like that yesterday. Keep reading though, this note won't have that affect on you...

Shortly after I got to work yesterday morning, I realized I locked my keys in my car. I immediately knew I would be alright, but I became really frustrated with myself. It was such a stupid thing for me to do and I was annoyed. Work wasn't too great either. There was an animal escape on our trail in the morning. I had to evacuate guests, a lot of whom were not very kind to me about the situation. Ever had two women yell at you because you didn't speak their language? I have. Ever had to dodge a power wheel chair? Ever had to tell a man who doesn't know English that this isn't a smoking area? All of this and being homesick with no one to help me with my keys started to pile up. I wanted to cry. Yesterday was just one of those days that wouldn't end...

After my shift was over at 7:30, I called AAA and explained to them where I was and that my keys were still in my purse, which was locked in my trunk. By the time I got out to the cast parking lot, the locksmith was waiting for me in his truck. I saw an older man with white hair and glasses waving at me in a big truck that said "Gary's Locksmith" with a tiny AAA sticker on the front drivers side door. I became a little worried about how this would go...

When we got to my car, Lloyd the Locksmith started asking me questions about my job. "Where do you work? ... Ohh, never been there... Tell me about some of the animals..." Quickly Lloyd the Locksmith was turning into a man who seemed legitimately interested in my life. He then asked "are there any crocodiles on your trail?" I told him no and then said I was glad because crocodiles really terrify me. By this time I was holding my keys, but we continued to talk. He said to me, "you know, in the Bible, in the book of Job, there is a part where Job is sitting around with his friends telling them everything he went through. He says he still trusts God, but wishes he could just talk to God himself. It then goes on to talk about how God says to him how he made this large creature, we think it was a crocodile or something of that sort, and how if God made this large animal and can control it, what should Job fear? He has his back."

I looked at this man and thanked God for him. I pulled out my little Bible out of my purse and asked him to show the verses to me, and there Lloyd the Locksmith and I stood in the parking lot at the Animal Kingdom talking about God for about 20 minutes.
I thought to myself "I'm going to see him in Heaven, and when I do, we will remember this."

My bad day turned into a massive reminder that even though there are big and small crocodiles in my life who want to eat me up, God's got my back. It was a reminder I appreciated. I want to be more like Job and Lloyd the Locksmith.

2009-03-18T21:12:00.000-05:00

I miss Nashville.

2009-03-04T11:47:00.002-06:00

My friend Taylor sent this to me a little while ago. The only thing I know about who wrote it, is the man's name. I don't know where he has been, but its evident that his pain has brought him wisdom and the understanding that God is not some big bully and wants to squash or punish you. These are good, clear words.

We have a very present help in the time of need who is always standing guard. Because He walks ahead of us, He can see trouble down the road And HE sets up road blocks and detours accordingly. But through our lack of wisdom we try to tear down the roadblocks or push aside the detour signs. Then the minute we get into trouble, we start crying "Lord how could this happen to me?" 

We have got to realize that the closed door was a blessing. Didn't He Say that "No good thing will He withhold from them that love Him?"

...I'm so grateful, for the many times God has closed doors to me, just to open them in the most unexpected places. "The steps of a good man are ordered by the Lord, and He delights in his way." (Psalms 37:23) The Mountain top is glorious, but it is in the Valley that I will grow!

-OPEN & CLOSED DOORS
Robert M. Hammock Jr.

2009-03-02T20:18:00.002-06:00

This is hilarious to me.
The Pomegranate Phone. The Best Phone You've Never Heard Of.

http://www.pomegranatephone.com/

2009-02-25T13:50:00.002-06:00

This is the girl I was supposed to room with down here. Anyways, we've hung out a few times and last night she told me about this... Meet Laura.

2009-02-10T22:15:00.003-06:00

Hosea 2:14-20

14 "Therefore I am now going to allure her;
I will lead her into the desert
and speak tenderly to her.

15 There I will give her back her vineyards,
and will make the Valley of Achor a door of hope.
There she will sing as in the days of her youth,
as in the day she came up out of Egypt.

16 "In that day," declares the LORD,
"you will call me 'my husband';
you will no longer call me 'my master.'

17 I will remove the names of the Baals from her lips;
no longer will their names be invoked.

18 In that day I will make a covenant
with the beasts of the field and the birds of the air
and the creatures that move along the ground.
Bow and sword and battle
I will abolish from the land,
so that you may lie down in safety.

19 I will betroth you to me forever;
I will betroth you in righteousness and justice,
in love and compassion.

20 I will betroth you in faithfulness,
and you will know the LORD."

My heart melted when I read this today. This is the God I serve. The God who pursues, who loves without me asking Him to. He wants to betroth me forever, He wants to share His heart with mine. He wants me to know His righteousness and justice. He wants me to know Him.

He wants that for you too.

2009-02-10T08:14:00.002-06:00

I wish I could blog about some of the things I'm experiencing here with the company I am working for. However, they track us, and with the big D, honesty isn't always appreciated. There are some funny stories, (not bad, just hilarious), so if you ever want to hear one, please ask.

Yesterday I finally finished my training. My Mom mailed me a card last week with a Panera gift card in it, and I had been saving it all week to treat myself for passing my assessment. Knowing I was going to receive broccoli cheddar soup in a bread bowl by the end seriously helped pull me through some times. After eating dinner, two of my roommates and I headed over to Hollywood Studios to watch Fantasmic, which is their huge fireworks and stage show. We got to the park kind of late, and all of the seats had basically been filled. We walked down the middle aisle and a cast member named Ted came up to one of my roommates and said "Three seats right here ma'dear..." and pointed to the front row. So while eating my Mickey Bar, I was able to relax and smile once again after a pretty rough week.

I wish I could explain how much I miss my life back in Tennessee, but how grateful I am for being here as well. I am learning so much, and God is revealing so much to me about how far is grace and compassion really can go. Brandon Heath's song "Give Me Your Eyes" plays almost everyday in my car while I drive to work and it helps remind me that these aren't just people or "guests" I interact with everyday, but are precious to the Lord.

This blog was king of scatter brained, sorry. More pictures coming...

2009-02-04T19:13:00.003-06:00

Meet Laura (one of my roommates) and Josh...

Laura dyed my hair two nights ago, it looks so good! Yesterday all three of us went to Hollywood Studios on our day off. It was a great day, with barely no lines to wait in!

It was a good day.

2009-01-30T12:28:00.003-06:00

That little name tag, my dear friends, means I'm officially part of the "Disney family."

I went through my Transitions Class and I start my training on Sunday to work in the Animal Kingdom at the Pangini Forest. I think it's absolutely hilarious that I was assigned a job for one of the attractions I've never done. I can't think of another I haven't experienced!! That makes me a little excited because I don't know what to expect.

I honestly have no idea what's in store for me these next few months. I will encounter thousands of people from now until June and I'm a little terrified about it. I really don't know anyone down here and without my TomTom, I'm completely lost in this massive city. All I can cling on to at this point is believing God has a plan for my little self in this big melting pot of a town. I have to have faith in Him to conquer loneliness and find the strength to honor Him during my time here. If you're a praying person, could you remember to add me to your prayers? Thanks.

2009-01-28T09:41:00.011-06:00

On Sunday, Mom and I played in the Magic Kingdom. It was such a great day, because the weather was really pleasant and the crowd wasn't very large. The longest we waited in a line was 30 minutes, and we were able to ride everything we wanted. It was a very relaxing day, and a good time to spend with each other before she had to leave.

This was Main Street on Sunday morning:

Mom and I riding Splash Mountain

Main Street at sunset

Ok, so that was my "magical" day. The next morning I woke up at 7am to move into my apartment. I love Disney and I have high respect for this company, but they were too intense at registration. They know what they are doing though, because it takes skill to move hundreds of college students in a line quickly. I wasn't really surprised how serious everyone was, but it made me nervous.

I'm living with 5 other girls. Two are from Chicago, one is from Boston, Jessica, my roommate, is from Philadelphia and one is from Knoxville. Being a southern girl, I'm a minority. It's a ton of fun though all of us being from different parts of the country.

I went to another meeting yesterday where I found out I will be working in the Animal Kingdom. I'm really excited about that. I didn't want to be in the Magic Kingdom everyday. I wanted to be able to go to the MK and relax and play, not to be stressed and work. I'm glad, as of now, the Magic Kingdom remains "magical" and fun to me.

Today I have to go to a class called Traditions. Everyone who works for the Disney company must take this class. It's a run through of the Disney company, and different things cast members must know and follow in order to work for the company. It should last a long time, but I'm alright with that. After Traditions, we receive our passes to the parks, so we are going to the Magic Kingdom!!

More to come...

2009-01-24T20:41:00.008-06:00

Well, today has been quite a day. I woke up in Atlanta and I'm now sitting in a Disney Resort, basically waiting for Monday to come around. I drove into Orlando and we came right to Disney World. After driving around for a bit, we parked at the Polynesian Resort and walked around. For those who don't know, the Polynesian is a hotel that is directly across a lake from the Magic Kingdom.
When I took this picture, I was standing on the pier at the Polynesian. See that little speck in the middle? That's Cinderella's Castle!! :)

Mom is jealous.

We sat here tonight at ate our dinner while watching the fireworks go over the castle. There was also a Hawaiian luau and a wedding going on around the lake. It was really nice.

I'm pretty excited. Tomorrow we are going to the Magic Kingdom and then I get to meet my roommate!! I won't find out until around midweek what my job will be, but I'm so happy to be here. More to come!!!

2009-01-17T15:59:00.002-06:00

"Someone in a press conference this week asked us how we kept 'humble' after so many years, well I'm not claiming any more points on the 'humble' ladder than anyone else but I'll tell you a few things that can keep you in that place.

When you meet kids that have waited 12 years for you to come to their country, who sing along to every word, who spend the little they have on a ticket, who say their life changed when they heard 'Historymaker', whose faces radiate with the love of God, people who have fought through the hardest of economical and spiritual times, who have fasted food for 21 days prior to this concert because they are desperate for God to visit their nation. That can keep a man humble. That can keep a man soft."
-Martin Smith of Delirious? talking about their show in Prague this past December.

2009-01-17T13:21:00.001-06:00

I leave for Florida in 6 days, and it's finally starting to hit me that I'm actually going. Ohhh man...

*these are photos my Dad took on our last family vacation to Disney World

2009-01-15T15:58:00.002-06:00

Today I went to the Vanderbilt Walk-In Clinic in Franklin. For the past 3 months, I've been having some problems with my right ear. When I say problems, I mean whenever there is a loud noise, it feels like there is a little creature inside my ear banging on my eardrum with a stick. It's not painful, just really annoying. It got really bad this past December when I went on a CRU winter conference. The band, the crowd, the speakers, the parties... it did get a little painful. I came home and decided I needed to get it checked out before I go to Orlando. Disney World has a lot of loud noises.

I decided I needed to go to the Walk-In Clinic to see if they saw anything right away instead of going to a specialist right away. When I got there, I was the only person in the waiting room. This was pretty nice because I didn't want to sit next to someone who was sick and I didn't want to be there for too long.

A nurse called my name and I walked through the door right to a scale. "Can you step up on there for me please?" Almost as soon as I got on the scale, she said "OK that's fine come with me" and started to walk off. The scale never stopped moving and she didn't record anything. I grabbed my stuff and ran to catch up with her.

After sitting in the room for a bit, the doctor came in and we talked. He was nice. He checked out my right ear and said "Yeah, I can definitely see your ear canal is infected. I think. I don't see anything wrong with your ear drum, but I could be wrong. I'll give you some ear drops and if you haven't improved by Monday, you need to go see a specialist."

As I was walking out, the same nurse was telling a man to get on the scale. He was barely on the scale for 7 seconds. She said "Ok that's fine come with me." I started laughing as soon as I heard him say "Hey! I've lost weight!"

So now I'm taking these ear drops. Four drops, three times per day for an "ear infection" I may or may not have. I came home and told my grandmother it was $73 dollars. She said "Oh, that's not bad at all!" I said, "It's kind of pricey to tell me they don't know what's wrong with me..." Thanks anyways, Vandy.

2009-01-14T00:47:00.001-06:00

2009-01-13T22:33:00.002-06:00

Buy this CD.

2009-01-06T17:56:00.005-06:00

Were told Adam and Eve chose to go their own way, to explore outside of the boundaries given to them by their maker, and as a result, their relationship suffers. This story is immediately followed by the story of their son Cain killing their other son, Abel.
-Jesus Wants to Save Christians: A Manifesto for the Church in Exile

This might of been obvious to a lot of people, but before today I had never really thought about Adam and Eve's relationship after they sinned. I wonder how hard they tried to love each other the same way knowing they couldn't. Can you imagine the torture they had, knowing they had once been whole and pure and that they would never feel that again? People (usually always guys) joke about how Eve screwed it all up for all of mankind-did Adam ever say that to her being completely serious? Did Eve become bitter toward him for not protecting her? What happened to them?

It's just another reason why I'm thankful Jesus came. He gave relationships and marriage a chance to be righteous again. He brought the prospect of healing for people who have wounded each other so deeply.

2009-01-05T11:21:00.002-06:00

This Christmas and New Years was the best I've ever had. I feel like I haven't really stopped since I finished finals. Now all my friends are back at UTC and I'm trying to figure out the best way to spend my time while before I head down to Florida in a few weeks.

It's a weird feeling knowing my friends are sitting in classrooms and I'm not-it's kind of like how you felt when you were a kid and you stayed home sick. It starts to kind of suck after lunchtime because you realize you're missing out (even if you're not). I really also have no idea what to expect come January 26th, which is really exciting but kind of scary at the same time. I won't even know what job I'm doing until I get there-which will affect my entire time there.

It is unbelievably comforting knowing I will have people back in both Nashville and Chattanooga who will be there to welcome me back in the summer and fall.

Waiting rooms are weird.

2008-12-17T01:56:00.002-06:00

"Think of all the joy you'll find, when you leave your world behind and bid your cares goodbye..."
-You Can Fly from Peter Pan

Okay, I know that's the cheesiest way I could of possibly started this entry, but I just had to. Get over it.

Today UTC finally told me that they are going to allow me to work in Orlando participating in the Disney College Program in the Spring. Meaning I'll leave in late January.

I applied and had my interview in late September. I waited for 2 months and didn't receive word from Disney until November 19, my birthday. When I went to the UTC co-op office and told them about my acceptance, they told me I had to make a certain cumulative gpa in order to go, and they flat out told me they didn't think I could do it. When it was time to review my grades for this past semester, I didn't make what I needed to meet the requirements. I made A's and B's in all of my classes except 1. I was less than 2 points away from making a B in a class, and if I had made an 80 in it, I would of had the required gpa.

After I got off the phone with the co-op people, I lost it. I started crying so hard. I told a friend last night that after I officially knew whether not I was going to able to go, I would be able to say one of two things: Because the C I made in a class was just so darn close to being a B, Either 1) God really wanted me to stay in Chattanooga or 2) God really wanted me to be able to say to people "I shouldn't be here, but God wanted me to be."

So here I go. I'm really, really excited. I'm also a bit terrified.

2008-12-04T20:03:00.001-06:00

2008-11-24T22:56:00.002-06:00

Deleted scene from Disney's Fanatasia (1940).

2008-11-20T16:10:00.001-06:00

I really like this version of Nickel Creek's "Why Should the Fire Die?"
I especially like it because it's in a kitchen haha.

2008-11-14T11:19:00.002-06:00

I know my major (Communications) gets made fun of a lot, (which in a lot of cases it deserves) but this video is the funniest way to make fun of Comm. students I've ever seen. Hope you enjoy.

2008-11-10T15:03:00.002-06:00

I love people watching when I got to Wal Mart. Today I did while waiting for one of my roommates to check her items out.

In through the door came an old married couple, the kind appears to be frail, but still full of life and would never admit to you that they were old.

The man had the basket. The woman started walking in one direction, he in the other. They both stopped though, without looking back. I guess they just felt that their other half wasn't near by. He looked at her and said "I can wait for you." She said "That's alright, you go ahead. I'll find you" and they walked their separate ways.

They were so kind to each other, and I couldn't help but wonder how they still were. I assume they had been together for a really, really long time, but they were still so kind to each other.

There are so many things about marriage that don't make sense to me. I want to understand, but I don't. Not at this point in my life at least; maybe I won't until/if I fall in love, but that's ok.

I don't understand it, but I believe in it.

2008-11-03T15:17:00.007-06:00

Last night my roommates and I decorated our apartment for Christmas. Yeah, it may be a little early, but we will only be here a week after Thanksgiving, and we wanted to have the decorations up long enough to enjoy them!

Andi and I putting lights on the tree!

Taylor taping up the mistletoe!
Me putting the lights up in the kitchen!
A little help from Andrea..
(Blurry) group shot!

Our finished tree!

2008-10-19T22:14:00.005-05:00

I'm home for Fall Break.

I took my grandmother to Target yesterday, she was so excited to go and look at everything in store- a little too excited. At one point she looked up at me and said "I'm going to turn the speed down on my power chair so I don't miss anything." We we're in there for 2 hours! It was fun though.

Today I was at Cracker Barrel with my Dad. There was a Franklin police car sitting outside. On the side of the car, the phrase "An Accredited Organization" was written. I pointed it out to my Dad and started laughing. He didn't get it at first, but then I said, "Can you imagine a cop saying to you 'Halt! I'm an accredited officer!'?" So the next time a police officer pulls you over, ask him if he's accredited, just in case you wonder if he's legit or not.

I voted today, and I felt very American. However, I overheard a man say "Remember, it's the White House, not the Black House!" Hearing this statement sort of ruined the whole patriotic and civil duty-type essence I was hoping to feel. It made me sad, and very frustrated. I wondered if he truly believed he was speaking truth and actually helping or "protecting" the future.

Go carve a pumpkin, pull your favorite scarf out of the cloest and drink a good cup a tea.

2008-10-17T11:13:00.000-05:00

This really cracked me up.

2008-10-10T11:40:00.003-05:00

I'm very shaken up today. My brother and his team were supposed to be on a flight yesterday, but they were angry to find out their seats were given away. The plane they were supposed to be on crashed into a fence and burst into flames. The only person to survive the crash was a pilot.

I'm overwhelmed. It scares me but I'm also very thankful to the Lord for protecting the team from Tennessee. Pray for their safety for the rest of their journey and for the families of those who did loose their lives.

You can read the article in the Tennessean here.

2008-09-15T21:03:00.001-05:00

And where do you look for this hope that you're seekin'
Where do you look for this lamp that's a-burnin'
Where do you look for this oil well gushin'
Where do you look for this candle that's glowin'
Where do you look for this hope that you know is there
And out there somewhere
-a few lines from "Last Thought on Woody Guthrie" by Bob Dylan

2008-09-08T15:59:00.002-05:00

Pumpkin Spice Latte is back.

2008-09-06T15:29:00.005-05:00

Whenever my brother calls me, I never know what to expect. In the past year it's been things like "Hey Liz!! I'm sitting off the coast in California!" or "I'm going to ask Natalie to marry me" or other cool things he probably wouldn't want to say. Today he called to tell me that in October he's going to be spending two weeks at the base camp of Mount Everest filming. I mean, are you kidding me?! I just started laughing and said "Your life is so randomly amazing right now."

Everest, that's so incredible.

2008-09-04T16:13:00.002-05:00

Coldplay is releasing a new EP in December called Prospects March! I love life.

2008-09-02T15:58:00.001-05:00

2008-09-02T10:34:00.002-05:00

This sums up how Oprah is able to have such a huge audience. You never have any idea what she's saying she believes.

2008-08-31T20:25:00.002-05:00

I hate hurricanes.

2008-08-30T18:50:00.003-05:00

1. Poor New Orleans, not again.
2. Today has been hard with friends; I wonder when I finally turn 20 in November if I'll start to get it right. Maybe? Dang.
3. I've laughed for years at the song "Butterfly Kisses" because I always thought it was ridiculously cheesy. Today I heard a Faith Hill/ Jeff Carson version of the song. It's from both ends, and I have to admit... a few tears welded in my eyes. "What will you do when your daddy's gone when you're daddy's little girl?"...doesn't that kill you?!
4. I was able to sleep in my own room last night because the people came by yesterday and vacuumed up the water, so the mildew smell is gone. Yay!
AND
5. It's Saturday. Time to boogie.

2008-08-26T22:10:00.003-05:00

It's been raining in Chattanooga since Sunday, and it's supposed to keep raining until Thursday.

I live on the top floor of my building.

Today I woke up and started walking to the bathroom when I felt that my floor was wet. I looked at the ceiling and saw a water mark in the corner, but it wasn't coming all the way to the ground. I then opened up my closet and saw everything on the ground was kind of soaked. Thankfully all my clothes we're dry, but I was pretty annoyed.

One of my other roommates is having the same problem in her room. The maintenance man came by, looked at our rooms and said "Yep... you got a leak alright." Thanks.

As he was leaving, I asked him if any of the other rooms on our floor were leaking and he said "Ohhhohh yeah. A few."

Awesome.

So everything that was on the floor in my closet is in my little room and I'm praying tomorrow someone comes by and tells me what's going on. Please, Lord?

2008-08-21T21:34:00.004-05:00

Pray for the people of Northern Ireland, they were unprepared for their current conditions. I have some friends who live over there, please pray for them, their families and neighbors. You can see video from the BBC of a man being interviewed and how he explains the people really have not had proper support here.

2008-08-21T15:31:00.000-05:00

These two women are such an inspiration to me.

2008-08-11T17:58:00.002-05:00

I think one of the things that will be nice about Heaven is that everyone will finally be together. Forever.

(I don't like missing people.)

2008-08-09T21:58:00.002-05:00

Going back to school this year will be different. Last year was all about starting brand new. It was scary and exciting. This year it's about picking up where I've left off, which is exciting too, but I feel like I have more responsibilities. I'm starting to pray that God will help keep me focused on what's important in life. It seems college students are really good at becoming self exposed, which is deadly in my opinion.

I loved spending time with my family this summer. I loved spending time with Michael, Tim and Hannah. I loved seeing old friends, and I'm happy to go back knowing some friendships are stronger than ever.

Yesterday my mom and I went to our families storage unit to get a lot of my stuff out that I'll need again for my apartment. It was weird, because it doesn't feel like it's been almost 4 months since I put all that stuff away. I couldn't help but think about all the expectations for my summer I had while putting that stuff away. Some of those hopes came true, some didn't. But that's ok. I know I don't regret how I spent my time this summer. And I know I am loved immensely, for reasons I don't understand. I'm going to miss home, but I'm happy that I'll be returning this Fall periodically for wedding events!! Here we go again Chatt...

2008-07-05T23:15:00.009-05:00

There are some people, no matter if it's been 4 days or 4 months, that you are just able to sit down and talk with like you've never been apart. That's what real friendship is all about.

2008-06-19T14:39:00.002-05:00

I've become a jealous person this summer. Not jealous about relationships, getting more attention than someone else, a girl who might look better than me, or anything else that is normal and cliche. I'm jealous of the many people I know who are traveling. From Greece, South Africa, Greenland, Chile, Hungary, the Sahara and other places I just can't remember right now, a lot of my friends are seeing really cool places.

My mother gets annoyed with me, as she should, when I start to talk like this. I mean, it's not like I've never left Tennessee. I've been places. But I think that's why I want to go somewhere again so badly. Cultures, societies, lifestyles and landscape fascinate me. Every human is born knowing nothing and evolves into a person that adapts a language, an attitude and a way of life, but we all live so differently and that's really interesting to me. I just want to get out there! That's why I'm a dork and subscribe to podcasts by Rick Steves and plan vacations I don't take.

I mean, how cool of a job would this be?!

2008-06-15T09:59:00.007-05:00

If you're going to visit Appalachian America and live among the people, be prepared to be cut off from everything you know. And bring a good camera.

2008-06-06T14:39:00.002-05:00

I think my mother is a secret agent. She keeps getting phone calls and taking them outside, writing little notes as she talks. If she is, and I'm part of her cover, we're going to have some serious talking to do.

2008-06-01T15:30:00.002-05:00

The Will of the People
in production
http://www.davidkiern.com/WILLOFTHEPEOPLE.html

2008-05-31T23:31:00.003-05:00

I've been spending most of my summer with this fine lady. Daily meals, laundry, cleaning her bedroom, taking her to Wal-Mart where she has a complete blast exploring everything in her power chair, and the occasional banana split from Sonic. I love being her "little helper."

Naomi Morel Kiern was born in New Orleans in 1918. She was an only child. During the Great Depression her father would allow his neighbors to use his car if they couldn't afford gas. That would never happen these days. She was on her way to a dance with a soldier when they heard on the radio America was at war in 1941. Her stories are amazing. I may be having trouble getting a job, but right now it's a good problem.

Want some?

2008-05-26T15:08:00.000-05:00

This is an entry from my personal journal I wrote Saturday night. I just felt like sharing it with you, my like, 3 readers...
Over the past few day's I've wondered to myself how non-believers can go through life and survive without Christ. I don't want to know. But how can so many say they are happy? Today while I was driving to little Maria Chapman's funeral it hit me: There is a difference between happiness and joy. To be happy, something pleasant and out of the ordinary must occur. Happiness is an emotion, not a steady set of being. Having joy or being joyful is more powerful. Joy commands attention. Joy is strong. Joy is deep. Joy does not sway as easily as a mere pleasant emotion. The Chapman's have joy through the death of a loved one because their joy comes from Christ, and he cannot be shaken. He demands attention. He is strong. He is deep. He does not sway like all things do. Happiness is a gift, Joy is a state. When you love God, nothing can seperate you from Him, meaning your joy is steadfast. That is how Christians can praise the Lord throughout ANY situation. Because when the Father is present, Joy will be also.

2008-05-25T22:14:00.001-05:00

2008-05-25T21:37:00.007-05:00

Dave and I decided to take advantage the high grass (for hay season) and pretty sunset last week. Here are some of the shots I got.

2008-05-19T22:33:00.004-05:00

There's this new site called Twisney created by Twitter where you can look at live updates of what people are doing in Disney World, and where they are at that time! Some people even upload their own pictures to the site. Some of the things I've liked reading have been:

"tbrunelle (from Epcot) - Epcot bound. Looking forward to a nice dinner in France tonight, minus the 6 hour flight. @6:54 PM on 5/19/2008"
"georgemoe (from Rose & Crown Pub & Dining Room) Rose & Crown Pub, Getting settled for Illuminations. @8:19 PM on 5/19/2008"
"ww1614 (from (Unspecified Location)) hollywood walking around so kids can burn off energy b4 fantasmic. @8:02 PM on 5/19/2008

Ok so maybe you think that's a waste of time, but I think it's kinda cool. If you like Disney World, it's fun to look at.

2008-05-15T19:04:00.004-05:00

Growing up, I never thought I would be able to experience an Indiana Jones film in the theaters like my parents and brother did. Thankfully I was raised on good entertainment, (let's not talk about the days of Zoog Disney...) I'm pumped to see Dr. Jones back doing his thing again in a week. Go Spielburg-ized archeology!

2008-05-08T20:34:00.003-05:00

About a month ago, Amy Jo posted a blog about her HydraCoach and after reading it and talking with her, I really wanted one of my own! At last, today my hydration dreams came true :)

2008-05-08T00:10:00.002-05:00

Two of my closest friends from UTC came to visit Franklin/Brentwood for the day today. It was a total surprise too! It was a great day, which was needed. I'm ready for some other people to come home too, I'm looking forward to this summer a lot.

Lame post.

2008-05-01T22:01:00.001-05:00

When I heard there is an organization in Rutherford County building a Bible theme park, all I could think about was this.

2008-04-27T23:04:00.003-05:00

I'm finding out that the end of the school year in college is a weird time. Well, at least it is for me. I've gotten used to so many things-all those people who ever told me "college is the real world" were totally full of it. I feel like going home will be harder because here you can become whoever you want to be, good or bad. I wanted to be a good person, I mean, I wouldn't of said that in August. But that's basically what I wanted.

But I couldn't attain that because good people don't exist, and instead I found myself discovering how gross of a person I really am, and why I ever needed a Saviour in the first place. I'm excited about going home and swinging in my hammock under the trees feeling free that I don't have to be one of those "good kids" to be the person God created me to be.

Yael Naim's 'New Soul' is a more entertaining way to show how I felt coming to Chattanooga 9 months ago. I love how at the beginning of this video she is totally alone, and no matter how hard she tries, decorating her room with happiness doesn't fill that gap a person has without their friends. That's how I was at the beginning of this year, and how she is at the end is how I feel now. It's been a very hard, good, and fulfilling year, and it's time to go home for a little while.

2008-04-23T17:31:00.002-05:00

Call me old fashioned, but I wouldn't want my kid playing with this

2008-04-12T15:34:00.001-05:00

The new Coldplay album will be available to buy on June 17th. Word.

Antichrist Television Blues by the Arcade Fire

2008-04-10T23:21:00.003-05:00

In the beginning of this video, Win Butler says "Daddys, don't grow up and Manage your daughters." Antichrist Television Blues is a song about the point of view of Joe Simpson, Jessica Simpson's father. Yeah, it's based on him, sorta. But what I love about the Arcade Fire is they don't point fingers-this song may seem like it, but "Joe Simpson, you sick old man" is not their message.

Mr. Dark can say it better than me in his Christianity Today article:
"The lyrics give voice to the impulse (native, we might say, to any of us who try our hand at show business) that imagines a redeeming, ministerial vocation at work in the quest for celebrity status and maximum air time (which would then be an acceptable, effective means to a healthily evangelical end). But the figure who prays his prayer in "(Antichrist Television Blues)" senses something amiss in his heart the more he keeps his eyes on the prize ("I just gotta know if I'm wasting my time / … How come nothing tastes good?"). And he finds himself delivering one of the most devastatingly disturbing double entendres of recent memory: "Wanna hold a mirror up to the world, / So that they can see themselves inside my little girl!"

"O tell me, Lord, am I the Antichrist?" asks the ostensibly successful and concerned parent as the song comes to an abrupt end. And with that question, a good number of demons are powerfully unmasked. Butler has spoken in interviews of the whole of audiovisual culture moving in a "violent-porn direction," as far as the law will allow, with no aspect of human life left uncommodified."

Please, please read the lyrics and listen to this song. I think we should all be more like the Arcade Fire and hold up mirrors to ourselves, seeing the bad parts of our hearts, in order to realize why that guy named Jesus is so important. Why he saved us isn't because we were worth saving. If we believe we know Truth better than someone next to us, if we believe that we can save them, and make it our lives work when we are completely off, are we the antichrist?

Don't want to work in a building downtown
No, I don't want to work in a building downtown
I don't know what I'm going to do
Because the planes keep crashing always two by two
Don't want to work in a building downtown
No, I don't want to see it when the planes hit the ground

Don't want to work in a building downtown
Don't want to work in a building downtown
Parking the cars in the underground
The voices when they scream, well, they make no sound
Want to see the cities rust
And the troublemakers riding on the back of the bus

Dear God, I'm a good Christian man
I'm your boy, I know you understand
That you got to work hard and you got to get paid
The girl's thirteen, but she don't act her age
She can sing like a bird in cage
Oh Lord, if you could see her when she's up on that stage

You know that I'm a God-fearing man
You know that I'm a God-fearing man
I just got to know if it's part of your plan
To see my darling stand by your right hand
I know that you'll do what's right, Lord
For they are the lanterns and you are the light

Now I'm overcome
By the light of day
My lips are near
But my heart is far away
Tell me what to say
I'll be your mouthpiece

Into the light of a bridge that burns
As I drive through the city with the money that I earn
To the dark of a starless sky
I won't stare into nothing and I'm asking you why
Lord, let me make her a star
So the world can see who you really are

Little girl, you're old enough to understand
You'll always be a stranger in a strange, strange land
Men are going to come while you're fast asleep
So you better just stay close and hold onto me
If mama's mockingbird don't sing well,
Then daddy won't buy her no diamond ring

Dear God, would you send me a child?
Oh God, would you send me a child?
Because I want to put it up on the TV screen
So the world can see what your true word means
Lord, won't you send me a sign?
Because I just got to know if I'm wasting my time

Now I'm overcome
By the light of day
My lips are near
But my heart is far away
But now the war is won
How come nothing tastes good?

Oh you're such a sensitive child
You know you're such a sensitive child
I know you're tired, but it's all right
I just needed you to sing for me tonight
You're going to have your day in the sun
You know God loves the sensitive ones

Oh, my little bird in a cage
Oh, my little bird in a cage
I need you to get up for me up on that stage
Show all the men that you're old for your age
Now in the times of fear
But if you don't take it, it'll disappear

Oh, my little mockingbird, sing
Oh, my little mockingbird, sing
I need you to get up on the stage for me, honey
Show the men it's not about the money
Want to hold a mirror up to the world
So that they can see themselves inside my little girl

Do you know where I was at your age?
Any idea where I was at your age?
I was working downtown for the minimum wage!
And I couldn't let you just throw it all away
Throw me a kid, God, throw me a knife
So tell me Lord, am I the Antichrist?

2008-04-08T11:17:00.002-05:00

So, I haven't had sleep since Sunday night. That's right people, I'm running on over 27 hours without sleep. I know, I know, I'm dumb. But sometimes in college you have two options--Door 1: Have a sweet slumber and get an F on a project OR Door 2: Stay up all night and work on a project that is totally kick-A.

I'm going to regret this aren't I?

20 days until Summer..

2008-04-01T23:43:00.006-05:00

My brother is engaged!! But it's sort of weird. Other people are supposed to grow up, not us. Anyways, she's a great girl, and I'm so excited about Natalie being my sister. I just thought you'd all like to know the news!! Here's how he asked her:

They met this past September at a college/young adults retreat in Liden, TN which is between Franklin and Memphis. They were staying at the same camp, but were with different groups so the time they spent together took a little effort on both sides...

They started to like each other, and on the last day they took a hike together in the morning and spent hours talking once they got to the top on a big hill. They both realized that they needed to get back to the camp, so they went their separate ways. David's plan was to walk over to her side of the camp and get her number and information, but when he went over there she had already left!

He had to get Natalie's number, so he asked a guy named Greg who both had befriended her, but Greg had actually gotten her number. The next day David called her, and within a week they both knew they were meant to get married. Isn't that crazy how quickly you know you love someone and it's part of God's plan?? I don't speak from experience, but I've seen it happen a lot.

Anyways, the way he proposed was on their 6th month anniversary (the saturday before Easter), he asked her to drive to Camp Linden so they could spend the day together. They went on a hike like they did when they first met, and during the sunset he pulled out a Bible from his back pack that he had engraved "Natalie Kiern." She was so happy!! Then he gave her the ring. One of the reasons why I love Natalie so much is because she loves her Bible more than her ring!!

They spent some more time together, and then drove to Memphis where our families were waiting for their arrival so we could all celebrate together!! That's the story, and we're all so happy!

2008-03-30T20:40:00.002-05:00

I left my apartment and came to Starbucks tonight to work on two projects and escape my loud roommates (who I love very dearly). It was quiet here---for about 20minutes. I refuse to leave because I paid to use the internet. Summer, please hurry the flip up.

2008-03-18T10:24:00.002-05:00

I have a test and paper due today. I have two tests tomorrow. I have a newspaper article I have to copy edit, a quiz, and a story for a local paper I have to email to the editor Thursday. Yep, Spring Break is long gone.

2008-03-06T14:24:00.003-06:00

In two days, I will be here

2008-03-03T20:37:00.003-06:00

Remember what it was like to be innocent? (Seriously). I remember the first time I saw a dead body that had been brutally murdered in a movie, and I barely slept that night. What exactly makes us so afraid to find out "the ways of the world"? I think both children and grown adults have the same answer: we are afraid of being attacked. We want to be safe, we want to be loved. We want to lay comfortably and when we open our eyes see beauty instead of fear. There are so many people I've met who believe true safety, or peace, is beyond our grasp, which is very sad to me. But thankfully, I've met many people this semester who have encouraged me to remember that one day we will all have peace. Until then, we hold onto the Father and each other, and relate to one another about how it hurts to be afraid and rejoice about what is to come!

If you've never heard Bach's "Sleeper's Awake, A Voice Is Calling" ("Wachet auf, ruft uns die Stimee" in German), I recommend it.

2008-02-21T00:04:00.002-06:00

I sprained my ankle last night. It's not even a good story-I was getting out of my friend's car and i fell off the curb in a weird way. It's a minor sprain, but the pain isn't and I can't walk on it. I have good friends taking care of me here, but I just really want to be home. This week has been a hard one school wise-I just need to make it through tomorrow and I should be alright. I'm so thankful it happened now and not next week when I'm going home for my grandmother's 90th birthday. My moral is kind of down though, I just feel like I can't do anything without someone helping me and it really sucks. I had so much trouble making myself a peanut butter sandwich this afternoon. Please pray for me!

2008-02-14T11:12:00.001-06:00

If you don't have a date, celebrate
Go out and sit on the lawn and do nothing
'Cuz it's just what you must do and no body does it anymore
No I don't believe in the wasting of time
But I don't believe that I'm wasting mine
-Fiona Apple

Happy Valentine's Day!

2008-02-10T13:06:00.000-06:00

I wish I didn't, but on Sundays I get pretty homesick. I enjoy the church that I'm going to here in Chattanooga, but I miss Brentwood Baptist a whole lot. It's been a month since I've been home. I went home too much first semester, and I told myself I wouldn't be doing the same again. It's going to be another 2 weeks before I go back. I've never been away from home this long before in my life and it's been really hard, but good for me.
I appreciate now more than ever the people who invested in me, loved me, and taught me. It's amazing how loneliness can change when you remember there are people who love you, even if they aren't with you.

2008-02-06T12:30:00.000-06:00

2008-01-29T22:31:00.000-06:00

So sometimes in college when it rains, you gotta entertain yourself indoors, even if you still sound like a woodland creature...

2008-01-28T11:24:00.000-06:00

I wear the black for those who never read,
Or listened to the words that Jesus said,
About the road to happiness through love and charity,
Why, you'd think He's talking straight to you and me.

Well, we're doin' mighty fine, I do suppose,
In our streak of lightnin' cars and fancy clothes,
But just so we're reminded of the ones who are held back,
Up front there ought 'a be a Man In Black.
-Johnny Cash

2008-01-25T23:55:00.000-06:00

Tonight I went to the Chattanooga Aquarium with some friends and really enjoyed it. I had no idea it was so big. We had a big disappointment though, because when we got to the penguin exhibit, they were all asleep! At least penguins sleep standing up, so it wasn't too bad-but still, they didn't really move. Oh well.

2008-01-22T20:02:00.000-06:00

One of the cooler things I've experienced at college is meeting people who are genuine. Not that I haven't had that back home, but it's just different here. Tonight at CRU while we were singing I realized how nice it is that we have each other. A few months ago, none of us had any idea who each other were and now we are a group. No one made us schedule our classes around CRU on Tuesdays and Thursdays. No one makes us get up on Sundays to go to church. No one makes us go to Bible study. We go, and it's real.

It has been raining all day today, I guess the weather is appropriate for the death of Heath Ledger. I didn't even realize he was only 28, he was so young. It's always weird to hear of anyone in the lime light becoming ill or dying because I don't really see them as real people anyway. When I heard I was pretty shocked, it makes me sad too. I didn't know Heath so I won't pretend I knew anything about his religious life. I'll just say Goodbye Heath, and God bless you and your family.

2008-01-16T18:44:00.000-06:00

Tonight it snowed in Chattanooga!! The picture is the view of our patio from the street, and the little white round things would be 100% precipitation. After playing in the snow for a little while, Emily and I went over to Starbucks to get some drinks-it seem appropriate but apparently I was confused?

Anyways, it's hard to believe I've been at school for almost two weeks-it's gone by so fast. It's definitely a different feeling coming back for my second semester. Before everyone treated you like "oh, it's ok you don't know this stuff-you're new at this" but now its more like "get it or get out." It feels like we've hit the ground running in all my classes, and I think it's going to be a hard semester for me in that sense. At CPA we really never moved that quickly in anything, so it's going to take me a little time to get used to.

I'm trying my best to keep everything organized though, and I'm having a good time which is nice for a change. That's really all for now. Back to homework...

2008-01-12T21:57:00.000-06:00

I'm wide awake
I'm not sleeping

If I could, you know I would
If I could, I would
Let it go...

This desperation
Dislocation
Separation
Condemnation
Revelation
In temptation
Isolation
Desolation
Let it go

2008-01-09T17:16:00.000-06:00

My sophomore and senior English teacher, David Dark, wrote an article about Arcade Fire and their two albums this past August. It's a good read, and I encourage you to take a look.

2008-01-05T18:21:00.000-06:00

Coldplay's new album is set to release this Summer, either in May or June!

It should be a good year in music for 2008-Coldplay, U2, REM, Keane, The Raconteurs, Oasis and Franz Ferdinand are all set to put out new albums-and it's only January. Hopefully with a list this good the Brits will have a chance to redeem themselves for album's like the Killer's "Sawdust" this past year. Check out Virgin Media's article here Yay 2008!

2007-12-31T16:44:00.000-06:00

I love this movie

2007-12-30T00:52:00.000-06:00

You say
Love is a temple
Love a higher law
Love is a temple
Love the higher law
You ask me to enter
But then you make me crawl
And I cant be holding on
To what you got
When all you got is hurt

One love
One blood
One life
You got to do what you should

One life
With each other
Sisters
Brothers

One life
But were not the same
We get to carry each other
Carry each other

2007-12-19T18:47:00.000-06:00

So I was cleaning my room tonight, and I got a knock on my door. Since I was picking up things from the ground and didn't look behind me, I just heard "Do you think it would be ok if I wore this to choir rehearsal tonight?" I turn around to see this:

I just laughed, and then said no. I hope you enjoyed this as much as me.

2007-12-14T00:42:00.000-06:00

My mom asked me tonight if I was missing anyone from school yet. Before that, I hadn't thought of a single person back at UTC since I'd been home. I asked my mom if she thought it was a bad thing, she just said: "It's not good." So, sorry UTC, I'ma not missin ya.

2007-12-06T18:41:00.000-06:00

Here's the deal, I'm at school with a really bad cold. I have a math exam at 8am tomorrow morning, and I'm not good at math. I'm ready to be home, by the fire with my hot tea watching the Christmas tree lights until really late. I'm ready to set up the train that wraps around the entire room with my brother and dad. I'm ready to dance around to Muppet Christmas Carol with my sister. I'm ready to argue with my mom about how we want to decorate the tree. I wasn't a few days ago, but I'm ready now.

2007-12-03T23:17:00.000-06:00

I'm so confused. Can someone tell me what Christin Bale's real accent is? Sorry about these videos, theyre pretty bad but I wanted some input.

2007-12-03T00:28:00.000-06:00

One of my best friends since 8th grade came to Chattanooga this weekend to hang out with me. While she was here we talked about how strange it is that we've known each other for so long but it feels so short. Everything seems to be going faster, like time is has not only caught up with me, but its starting to run past me. I know I'm only 19, I'm still young and I have a freaking ton ahead of me (Lord willing...) but lately its just been weird to think about growing up. The beginning of the semester it was hard, now its just weird.

2007-11-29T21:41:00.001-06:00

Interesting Stuff...